Hello Beautiful people!
This is a rather long blogpost that I’ve been working on this fine Saturday. Please leave comments below or on the link in Facebook. I would love some feedback on this one 🙂
I am opening my heart up in this blog post. I have finally found the right time to share this message where it has been a big problem for so many years in my life.
So as you may or may not know (depending if you have ever been around me at nighttime when I am forced to take off my makeup) I have had reasonably bad skin for around 3 and half years. It wasn’t bad to the point where I was prepared to risk the potential side effects and put myself on Roaccutane but it still made me upset to the point where I would avoid all mirror’s in my house and I would pick and choose the friends to stay at as I knew which ones would judge me and who wouldn’t. (Side note one: I have learnt that the friends who don’t care are the friends you need to have). I was even ashamed to be stripped back of makeup in front of my family, now there’s a problem- a family will never judge you no matter what.
I recently found a quote on the 5th of November 2012 that said, If you’re not comfortable in your own skin, you’ll never be comfortable in any clothes. I definitely wasn’t feeling comfortable in any clothes. I used to pile on makeup (not cake makeup, I used mineral because it was better for my skin but not good because I still wanted more coverage) and I would often cry about how nothing I was doing was working. In 2012 I went on the pill for around 3 months to help clear it up but it only gave me crazy mood swings and I felt really low in my outward appearance as well as internal. I pulled myself off the pill and mum got me out of school for a semester of homeschooling. During this time I was also trying to get some sort of modeling career started but every casting involved having no makeup on and that was so very daunting for me. I had tried products such as Dermalogica, Kora organics, Michael Todd, various brands of cleansers and creams that would make my skin sting so much I had to hold a little fan whenever I would apply it.
** Also, please remember that all of the products I used just didn’t have any impact on my skin. I am not saying that they are bad products and will not work. I am simply telling you that for my journey they were not beneficial **
My mum is a beauty therapist so she would do facials on me often and we thought it was making a difference but it wasn’t. I hated going to places when mum would say she was a beauty therapist and then for them to see my skin just made me feel like I was letting her down some how. (Side note two: Mum will love you no matter what and the amount of money that my mum has given willingly to see a change in my skin I can not even begin to explain how grateful I am for her)
Every-night I would put my hands over my face and pray that I would wake up with it totally clear or that he would guide me in the direction I needed to go. I felt like I was just going in circles.
I didn’t want to change my eating habits too much. I wanted a quick fix. We all want a quick fix, it seems the better option hey?
I used to get cravings for sugar that were so high I couldn’t contain myself and needed a chocolate bar, despite telling myself the day before that I needed to stop the poisonous habit. (Side note three: When you want to loose weight or you want to see a change in your life, you have to commit yourself to doing it. You wonâ€™t feel the value of it unless you do).
Last year I started a new school on the Sunshine Coast and I met a girl who had been through the same thing with her skin and after going to a place called Cozmedics in Cotton Tree her results were amazing! Mum didn’t think twice about it and booked me an appointment for which (over a six or so month period) I under-went about 3 mild lazer treatments, 1 needling treatment and 1 peel, as well as using a product range during the day called Aliange and tropical creams at night Eryacne and Epiduo. When asked if I would like to take any medication internally as it would possibly provide quicker results my answer was because I wanted to restrict myself against it- given my poor results from the pill.
I hope everyone is still reading because the best is yet to come!
Here are some photos of how my skin used to look and to thoseÂ who never saw me without makeup.
With makeup on:
I finally had a break through!
After all the Cozmedics treatments I was seeing improvements! And it made it all worthwhile when others noticed too! Stress is a major factor contributing to how your skin reacts and there have been many stressful moments whilst in grade 12 but my skin has remained the same.
As previously stated make-up was a huge deal to me, wearing it gave me an identity protection. Hiding behind it made me feel better about myself and I felt prettier. I wore it everywhere; there was never a break unless I was going to bed. Last year I devised a bucket list for myself, no.85 was to not wear makeup for a whole day at school.
I am so proud to say that I finally felt my skin clear enough to wear no makeup to school the other day! Here is a photo of me in the morning….
Before I even started the day I wrote a quick diary entry on the bus, it went like this.
Feeling good and confident about today. I’m not wearing any makeup to school besides a little lip balm so if I can make it through today without putting any on then I can successfully tick it off my bucket list. Why is it on my bucket list?
Because I have had bad skin for about 2.5 or so years now. I am a big believer of being comfortable in the skin your in but I never have until makeup was brought into the factor. I have been wearing makeup to school since the start of grade 9. 3 years later and finally in my last year of school on a Thursday week 3 of term 3 can I finally feel comfortable in not wearing it.
I am glad I got to share this story that’s been on my mind for a while now. I hope it can in some way inspire anyone reading- even if your problem is not skin related, but weight or just unhappiness. Don’t give up, keep going because life is beautiful- these are just roadblocks in the road 😉