This post is strictly outlining the parameter of ‘dating in 2016 for late-teens in middle class Australia’. It is limited to viewpoints of 10 girls who live a middle class lifestyles and are between the ages of 18-23.
Dating is like a tornado
At first the wreckage comes and it’s excitement embedded in a text message, it’s waiting an hour to text them back and it’s always assuming the boy to ask you out first. Then there’s the eye of the storm, for a while it’s calm and easy; it’s coffee dates, late night chats between sips of red wine and the comfort wedged in beginning to really know each other. But as the eye is the middle, chaos will arise again in the form of festered confusion and the fear to ask ‘so what are we?’. That fear [ultimately] defines or ends a relationship. I think that’s our generations biggest flaw in dating, we desire all the benefits of a relationship without [actually] wanting one. [The tornado is in all of us] – Ivy, 18
It was recently brought to my attention via a Facebook conversation I had with my friend Alethea of our ‘seemingly’ flawed dating system of 2016. After what seemed like a long process of back and forwards opinion sharing I decided that our singular assumptions were not enough.
I had to recruit the gals!
Now I’ve got some killer friends, and it would be a big mistake not to utilise their incredible words of wisdom. I want to introduce a new segment to Dancing In Violent Fields that will be focussed around a once-a-month discussion of a particular topic with a few girls whom I adore. It will cover anything from Travel experiences to the big topics to just general advice on life.
I have split this discussion into four parts which I will post over the next few weeks.
DISCUSSION Dating series part 1/4
And since I love my metaphors, we are going to opt for the Tornado one which Ivy so perfectly articulated. (Check out her blog here!)
So press play to Graceland – Allan Rayman or Jump – Astrid S on your spotify account now and prepare yourself for some quality words from some pretty quality ladies.
Excitement embedded in social media and assuming the boy to ask you out first
Texting/ messaging is relatively easy and its the bulk of our generations communication. You get to process what you read and plan what you want to say but sitting down face to face with only one other person and just having a conversation, thats not something a lot of people know how to do well anymore. – Taylah, 18
Dates these days are more of a real deal thing. It’s more likely that expensive, like-the-movies dates will happen once you’re in a relationship, rather then the ‘getting to know you’ phase – Ashley, 19
People don’t even know what [dating is] anymore – Jade, 18
Sometimes my boyfriend will want to take me out and treat me and some times I’ll want to do the same for him. I think it all depends on who you are and what kind of guys you date. – Shelby, 18
I think things like dating sites and being drunk at a club makes it more confusing for all of us because of the fact we [have] aÂ more liberal mindset. – Celine, 23
I have [only] been on one real dinner date where the guy picked me up, met mum and dad for the first time, told them what we were doing and when we’d be home. He wasn’t officially my bf but nearly everyone knew about us. It was actually Valentine’s Day and he did the usual thing, treated me with flowers, chocolates and took me to dinner. Well…he turned out to be a physically abusive douche bag.. so that wasn’t fun… – Anonymous
According to news outlets, according to politics, according to our grandparents and even sometimes according to ourselves, all we care about is have a constant supply of technology. So ‘hooking up’ becomes very easy. You swipe left, you swipe right, you meet for a drink, you fuck (or don’t). I don’t necessarily believe that this is true, it’s as true as people want to make it. – Alethea, 21
Be honest with him, don’t expect him to know you like dinner dates or ocean days, just tell him plain and simple. Girls change their mind all the time about what the want, so save time and don’t leave them guessing. – Katie, 19
I have never been in a serious relationship. Therefore I am just another hopeful with a preconceived idea of how I think it will be when I start dating. – Elly-Grace, 19
Stay tuned for next weeks part 2/4 in this little dating series.
P.s I picked up this book The little book of heartbreak by Meghan Laslocky for $10. I have only reached page 22 and already I am in love with the way Laslocky has been able to connect love from past era’s into the modern day time. Try and steal it off me if you dare!
Photo credit: Isaac McGovern
Special mention to all my beautiful friends who have bared their souls / views for this series.